TOILETS FOR LIBERALS

The other day at church, I had mentioned these crazy green-handled toilets we saw while vacationing in Oregon, so here are the pictures.  Folks, these liberal toilets graphically illustrate everything wrong with liberalism:  liberals think “average people” are too stupid to think on their own and that only they are enlightened enough to think correctly about any issue.

The first picture, below, is a picture of the green-handled toilet. If you look closely, you will see some simple directions for flushing:

Looking closely, you will see that if you pull up on the green lever, you will use “one drop” of water and if you push down you will use “three drops of water.”  Obviously the idea the liberal geniuses came up with was that you could use less water pulling than pushing.  Fair enough.  Now, below, are the written instructions pasted to the wall right behind that green handle:

Now, it’s a little hard to read, so let me help you:  You pull up for (yes, this is what the sign says) ” #1 (liquid waste) and push down for (yes, it sounds like they are talking for first graders) #2 (solid waste).  This, my friends is what liberals think of you.  You’re to stupid to know what “solid waste” or “liquid waste” are so they use they old infantile “number 1” and “number 2” designations kids use on the playground.

As if that weren’t bad enough, apparently Oregon doesn’t want you to wash your hands when you’re done because the paper towel dispenser limits the amount of paper towels you may use in drying your hands to one tiny square!  I noticed the same thing in regards to the toilet paper dispenser.  Now, folks, that just makes me shudder!  The second thing I did when we got home to Virginia was to go into the airport bathroom and hold down the handle for at least 30 full seconds using lots and lots of water, then I went and washed my hands (for a long time), drying them with a massive wad of paper towels!  It was good to be back in civilization.

You know, what’s really funny?  Oregon does this to conserve water, yet everywhere you look in Oregon you see….WATER!  I mean, there is WATER everywhere!  The Columbia Gorge is a volcanic crater full of….WATER!

Beam me up, Scotty.

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